Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need to calm my uterus...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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