I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
