She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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