I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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