i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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