i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
