I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
