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Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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