at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
