So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
