Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
