YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
