just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
