Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
