Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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