I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
