I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
