ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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