You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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