If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
