maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
