I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
