oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
