Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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