you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize