Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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