The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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