Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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