Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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