I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
