I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My feet surprised me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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