woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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