My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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