Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
