i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
