I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
