My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
