I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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