then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize