butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
