I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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