Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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