marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize