I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
