I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
