I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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