Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
