hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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