Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
