nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
