Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
