I hate all girls vehemently.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
