my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize