i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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