I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
