Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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