Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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