I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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