the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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