Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
