if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
vagina is talking i cant
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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