I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
cat food counts as protein by the way
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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