so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
