Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
