the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
