Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
