He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
God, I missed his penis.
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