I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
